Cell phones protect against Alzheimer's

A study involving mice indicates that talking on your cell phone all day at an early age helps prevent Alzheimer's:

[The study] involved 96 mice, most of which had been genetically altered to develop beta-amyloid plaques in their brains, which are a marker of Alzheimer's disease, as they aged. The rest of the mice were non-demented. All the mice were exposed to the electro-magnetic field generated by a standard phone for two one-hour periods each day for seven to nine months. Their cages were arranged at the same distance around a centrally located antenna generating the phone signal.

The researchers, led by Professor Gary Arendash, said that if the phone exposure was started when the Alzheimer's mice were young adults, before signs of memory impairment were apparent, their cognitive ability was protected.

Arendash also previously authored a paper claiming that coffee could protect against Alzheimer's. Get your children iPhones and bring them to Starbucks, every day.