Pearl Jam - "Backspacer"

I have many bad things to say about this album, but because I've always loved Pearl Jam since the day I "rented" Vs. from the Manitowoc Public Library and for the sake of brevity, I will only elaborate on two of those things. First of all, Backspacer wins this year's award for most horrible album art, no matter what else is released from now until December. Seriously, Pearl Jam, what the fuck? Is that Bobby from King of the Hill being chased by a flaming train? Who thought this was a good idea?

And second, Target is a store where people go to buy shampoo, 2-liter bottles of Pepsi, and cheap Huffy mountain bikes. Backspacer--which was inexplicably released exclusively through Target--sounds like a product that could easily be added to this list. I can just picture it, sitting there sheathed in thick protective plastic and bulky security devices at the corner aisle of the Electronics Department, waiting for some poor kid's mom to toss it into her red cart amongst the other toiletry products and pumpkin-scented candles.

I really can't explain Backspacer, other than it seems that the fine layer of grunge has finally withered away down some dank Seattle sewer. It was so encompassing for so many years, even seeming to grow in strength after Pearl Jam was released in 2006. But this? This sucks. This is Creed-ish at times, for God's sake. Instead of singing about spinning black circles or biting the recess lady's breast, Eddie Vedder is now singing--and going "Hey Hey Hey" a lot--about diplomatic relations and going to see friends. "Just Breathe"--the daintiest song Pearl Jam has ever recorded--is unfortunately the best song on this album. Were the dollar signs just too big? Will Pearl Jam love BlackBerry next? Only time will tell, but I fear that once you sell your soul to Target, the road home is a long and dark one.